Those who believe they know you best have now become your biggest critics. Worrying is their primary frequency at this critical juncture of your life. I've had my share of speculations about the potential rights and wrongs of your pending journey. The biggest fear they express is that you will fall deeper into depression away from their "loving" concern. Note the sheer hypocrisy in that word?
My life seems almost an exact refutation of everything they say. "Being alone is dangerous. People are happiest as socializers. Blaabaaabaaa!"
My happiest moments have been AWAY from the chaos of people. I told them they have never been "alone" enough to comprehend what I'm saying! Nature is never intent on making a person miserable. Even mosquitoes aren't there to torment, but to live. You just have to be slighty smarter than them to avoid misery. It took me a LONG time to figure out they aren't as evil as my attitude about them was.
Sunburn. Does the sun have to change its purpose for your convenience? How absurd to even think it...yet people constantly complain because they didn't opt for shaded leisure.
"He can't run away from his problems."
"Mommy shouldn't be paying for his undeserved vacation"
"He needs to stay here and get a job and learn some responsibility"
"You are just giving him a longer rope to hang himself with"
There's no end to the disparaging litany of potential loser-hood.
The first instinct would be to feel insulted that they have such a poor image of you. But what if it happens that they resent anybody straying out of THEIR cages?
I've spent my life looking for something better than a damned cozy cell. ( I really DO like my trailer though...it has wheels...the house doesn't)
My dad called it the chicken coop society. The better you are at minding your own business, the more they will cluck because you aren't minding theirs...LOL
You've had a long time to explore life as a Maconite and you've not found much here to crow about. Amanda says you didn't try hard enough. I didn't either. But I also saw no benefit in choosing intoxication as a not so cheap substitute for apathy. I may have often felt like a mad dog on a leash, but I usually managed to find a way to break free when things got boring enough here.
Going to Arizona should not be regarded as an escape from all that is wrong here. It should be regarded as learning to use untested wings you had no idea you had because all the chickens here appeared not to fly.
"Well there's just as many damned chickens over there too and he ain't gonna get away from them for long."
They just don't understand that I've seen far more happy chickens in those parts. Free range ones. Camping, hiking, hanggliding, etc etc. Don't take advice from THESE ground birds. They get served in picnic baskets when they are plump enough. Or we grab their eggs because they'll just keep laying more anyway. (ie...Amanda in her proud motherhood) Chickens don't do birth control. Don't take this wrong, I think she's doing wonderfully and Sage is as dear to me as you were as a young chickadee :-) But you've been at the dadgum ROOSTER business for a few years now and roosters typically don't play nice! Feck em. I've done what roosters do. I never intended to be intimidated anyway. The thing is to notice that a whole lot of other birds have much grander vistas to explore. Chickens don't manage well outside their cages. And what is happening inside the cage isn't worth getting jazzed about. Your parting words may well be "I'm rather bored with roostering and think I'll look for alternative realities now. "
"Thank you for humoring my assholery THIS long. Don't worry, there's plenty of roosters staying behind for your entertainment. I'm just not amused anymore."
That is all depression is. It isn't a condition. Its a supression. Drugs and alcohol are suppressive substances. Especially in a social context. Let us jolly well enjoy this frivolous activity of our captivity. Hip hip hooray! Tedious is this redundant cheer, let me swill another beer.
Here's the challenge. Few are confident you can actually make an adventure of it. They imagine you are weak or inept. You should ENJOY proving them wrong even if they will always envy you for not sticking to "the program" of work your ass off so you can have lots of stuff or status to impress other people with. The ego will always be a silly dog looking for the approval of his master. Don't mistake your ego for the master. A master doesn't need to do tricks for attention. He simply enjoys how silly the dog can be. Dogs are quite lovable when they are given affection. Pissed off dogs just get better at being mad. I did pissed off more than I care to admit. Its a damned wonder I found enough happiness to keep on barking anyway... I have been my own best amusement as it turns out. I didn't waste time seeking validation from others. I suspect you won't either.